Christmas

Well it was an interesting one.

Chris, Steph, and I traveled up to Minnesota on the 18th. At first the trip didn't seem too long, but once we got into the Dakotas all I wanted to do was get home. But we had a couple of stops first. Finally I was dropped off in Crookston where Dad was reffing a couple games. I finally got to get some pictures of him working the court. But, that is not easy to do, so the pictures aren't the highest quality.

Got home to TRF and I was SO HAPPY! Being home is so pleasant. Took off to Bemidji the next day to meet up with some friends. Stayed a lot longer than I should have, but it was worth it. Seeing them did my soul some good.

The next couple of days were busy, busy with wrapping and baking. Those are quickly becoming my favorite parts of Christmas :) Tried to make a caramel apple struesel cheesecake, but it turned into what we're calling Caramel Apple Goo. Everyone liked it except me. Texture was too gooish. So I have to figure out how to solidify it and then we will be set.

Christmas was white. Really white. We had a blizzard. Nick and Amy and the kids made it up Christmas eve before it got too bad, but the rest of the family wasn't able to make it. So we had Amy's delicious breakfast pizza and smoothie Christmas breakfast, opened stockings, and had the kids open 1 gift each. Mom and Dad also got surprise gifts. Mom got a digital camera and Dad got a model of his first tractor. We played Wii and had dinner, and that was pretty much it. It didn't exactly feel like Christmas because no one opened a gift from me.

We decided to re-do family Christmas on Sunday. So we had a new dinner and opened all the gifts and did the gift exchange then. I'm proud to say that I think the Auntie gifts were a big hit with the kids. Especially Savanna's. We got her the American Girl Molly book collection and the Molly movie. I think she liked it :)

Took off back for Colorado on Tuesday early. HATED leaving. REALLY HATED it. But that is life. If it weren't for Sweeney Todd, I would have nothing to look forward to. So I am back now.

That is about it. Here are some pictures:

Dad in his Pre-Game/Time Out/Half Time stance.

Counting their time down the floor.

Back hussle!

Dancing with the cleaning supplies. Dad was having a lot of fun entertaining mom while he was vaccuuming with style.

Savanna sitting pretty with her gift from Santa (which was a BIG hit) MP3 happiness.

I don't know exactly what he was looking at, but I LOVE this picture of Matthew.

Three boys on the carpet that Santa got Jacob. They just love playing on these town carpets with their cars.

Chris started reading a book to Daniel and then Matthew decided to join them. So cute!

What I did today

Got woken up by Steph about 15 min before my alarm was set to go off. I hate that.
Got up, got dressed in an nice/casual outfit for my interview, packed up and left with Steph to take her to work.
Dropped her off, got on the road to the Colorado Springs Fine Arts Center. Got to see a little of a whole other side of CS. It's pretty nice downtown.
Found CSFAC. Only took 1 wrong turn - woot!
Informed the lady at the front desk that I was there. She informed the Technical Director. Wait about 10-15 min. Which gave me ample time to MARVEL at their chandelier. Seriously, you have never seen anything so interesting be called a chandelier before. It was like blown glass balls and swirls all tossed in together in shades of light blues, yellows, greens, and whites. Gorgeous.
Met the guy, went to the back of the theatre house of a quickie interview. NICE space. Definately an art deco themed with a wonderful racked house. Stage was kinda small it seemed, but that might have just been the way the current set made it look. Beautiful though, and all the systems were updated 4 years ago, so it is really quite nice.
Talked with the man a little bit. Told me I kinda stood out to him because I put Etiquette and Social Dancing as other skills. Looked like I was a combo of what they needed. He said they are always looking for SMs and ASMs and crew. Yes!
Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, we're done.
Thank you for seeing me, and I am out the door.
Drove back to the mall where I was to waste a couple hours until Stephanie got off from work. Wandered aimlessly, which was kinda nice. Got to go into every store and wish I had money to spend there - especially in Borders. Got to go into the pet store and marvel at the kittens. I want one! Also got to take a look at the adorable puppies. Hey, maybe this is just me, but it seems like everytime I go into stores like that most of the dogs, hamsters, and cats are sleeping.
Drove to Wal*Mart, had a brilliant idea. Figured it would be nice for me to make them dinner. Has to be something somewhat nice, but has to be on a budget ...hmm. I know! Burritos! Okay then, I'll do it and was just about to start shopping when I got the "come and get me" call from Steph.
Dropped what I was doing and picked her up and we went on a little Bank-a-thon. (I am not even going there - too long a story and too boring)
Started to drive home. Realized Stephanie had to go take a pre-employment drug test, so went there instead.
Test done, NOW time to go home.
Get home. Get the word from Chris that burritos sounded good.
So off to Wal*Mart (again) I go. Suddenly everyone is at Wal*Mart. Get everything I need. Get to the register, and even with buying everything as cheaply as I can, I go over what I had hoped to spend. Payday from my job is still not until next Tuesday. CRAP.
Get home, start making food.
Chris makes Margaritas, Steph ... does nothing but bother Chris (lovebirds) Allie follows everyone, which makes the kitchen crowded, and pees on the floor. Bad puppy.
Food done, we eat and drink and be merry.
Allie pees again. Bad puppy. What is wrong with her??
Go to my room, start surfing the net, answering emails, and watching Stargate SG1 series. (I know, dorkish, but I kinda miss watching it with Barry and having him explain everything)
Still here. Need another glass of tea or something. Could go for a nice Diet Coke, but #1: we don't have one in the house and #2: wanna keep a good thing going. (I have reduced my soda intake a lot)
It's too darn dry here; I am constantly parched.
Every now and then I look out my window to the window across the street and wonder: what the heck is that lighted christmas decorations supposed to be???
Ahhh, sweet mysteries of life.
Should go to bed. Work tomorrow @ 10-2:30. Whew - longest stretch yet. We'll see what mornings are like at the Rumbi Island Grill. Hope I don't mess anything up. Got to learn the sause container colors and remember to punch in the number before I begin the order. And to upsell, and to remind them where to go boxes and utensils are. And a million other things.
Enough for tonight. I'm tired ... and thirsty.

Searchlights

I'll get to what the title means later, but now time for a quick update.

I'm not quite sure where I left off, but here is where I am now: Colorado. I am staying with my sister (and as soon as he gets back from training, her boyfriend). Basically, I couldn't make it work in Thief River Falls, so I shipped out here to see if I could find a job. In a couple days I will have been here for 2 weeks, and I have only had 1 interview. I'm not going to go there right now, because I feel bad enough about that already.

What is it like? Well ... it's different. Weather is nice, although its shifty. Their apartment is nice, although they have some neighbors that make it kinda unsettling at times. The town is big - biggest I have been in besides Minneapolis. They have, like 2 Forts, an air force base, and an air force academy all in this one region, so its packed to the gills. Lots of opportunity, apparently. It's hard for me to get optimistic about it here. Unfortunately, that part of me has been on a steady decline since summer. I'm just a little homesick ... and especially friend-sick, I miss them all so much. I mean, it is nice that I have Steph and all of that, but I'm lonely for a little friendship.

That is kind of what Searchlights is about. The other night I went outside to walk Allie (Steph's dog) and there was some flashes in the sky. When I looked harder I could see that it was really beams of light circling in the sky; searchlights. I couldn't help but think how appropriate that was at the moment. I mean, here I am, and all I am doing here is searching. For a job, for a life, for a reason to stay, and on a deeper level, searching for me among all this.

And to be honest, I haven't even caught a glimpse of it here yet. I'm not saying that it will never come, but right now, my semi-misery outshines my optimism. I have always considered myself a pretty glass half-full kind of girl. Lately, it has been looking kind of on the empty side. Although it does make me grateful. Grateful for what I have, and what I did have.

It seems like the lean time of my life, and this time is no exception, have made one thing clear to me: If I am ever going to be happy, I need to have theatre in my life. In the past 5 years, the only times I have been truly, ecstatically happy, is when I am working on theatre. It's not all that makes me happy, but it is the one thing that makes me happy without a flip side. It is like that is my real home, my true love, my reason. Nothing has ever made me feel so good before, or just plain Feel more. I know that there are a lot of people out there who aren't living their dreams, and that is a sacrifice that you sometimes have to make in life. But to me, everyone needs a reason to live. Sometimes that centers around a person, and sometimes it is a purpose. I haven't found the person in my life who is my reason (although, if I could find a love with another person as strong as I find it in theatre, I would be the happiest, most complete person in the world); I have found theatre. I'll do what I have to to sustain my life because that is something you have to do, but theatre is my reason for doing it. They are lucky; no, blessed; people indeed who can marry the two.

Aside from not having theatre, I don't even have someone to share that with. I never realized just how strong a bond a common interest is. Most of my best friends are in theatre, and those who aren't all about theatre, at least understand, appreciate, and support my love for it, and for that, I love them all the more. Just having someone around who understands and relates to how I feel helps. So, I feel so alone here. I miss having those theatre chats with my friends, telling our stories and sharing our passion together.

I do hope that if I do stay here, that I will find someone who I can share this with. There are theatre opportunities here, and I LONG to be apart of it. I emailed every name and every group I could find information on, and I am just waiting to hear something back. Especially with the threat of not being able to come back for the next fun-filled Summer Stock at the PBP, I need something.

Sorry, I kinda strayed there. Anyways ... back to the figurative mode.

Relief will be a welcome sight right now. I just need a little boost in the hope department. So, I'm sitting here with my little flashlight, pointing it to the heavens, signaling the sky. I'm calling my SOS, and praying that someone will see my light, take pity, and respond soon.

Anyone out there?

Been a While, huh?

Well, that is what happens when you have nothing to report.
But I do now, so here we go:

As most of you know, I have still been unable to find a job. I've pretty much run out of money and time. Bills are piling up and I'm pretty much having to default on all my student loans. On top of which, I also have been having some medical problems.

Bad news aside ....

I am now in Colorado with my sister. Mom, Dad, and I have been talking about the possibility for a while. Since there was nothing in Thief River, and I had to look for work in a town where I wouldn't have to worry about rent, and Steph needed some company with Chris gone for a while, we jumped on up and moved me out.

I arrived yesterday and today I am resting up, cleaning the apartment, doing some online searching, and getting myself settled in.

The trip was amazing. I left from Grand Forks and flew to Minneapolis (my first plane trip!!!), connected with another flight and arrived in Denver where Steph and miss Allie picked me up and took me "home." Despite the fact that I was borderline ill, I rather liked flying. Take off was a little hard on my stomache on the first flight, but soon I was in the pink and enjoying it all. Luckily, I was on a windowseat for that flight. It's obvious why Minnesota is called the land of 10,000 lakes. It is beautiful from the air. Patchwork fields with river seems. And the water, oh my, from the air, the water looked as if it was painted - literally, I could see brush strokes, but I am sure it was the cloud's reflections, but when the sun hit it, it turned into liquid silver and just sparkled. It was beautiful. The Minneapolis airport was nice, I wish I had more of a layover to wander around a little. The Denver airport seemed nice, but I didn't really pay too much attention as I was busy trying to figure out where I needed to pick up my bags and find Steph.

Colorado is pretty nice. I was a little disappointed in how brown everything is. The grass is DEAD here. Still, it's nice. Not bad weather, 40s-50s. And mountains. Holy Cow, Mountains! It's a really hilly region and off in the distance (it always there) are the mountains. Steph was not kidding when she said that mountains were not far. Literally, she has a view from her living room couch and balcony of Pikes Peak. It's amazing.
Her and Chris' apartment is really quite nice. The only thing that sucks is the stairs. There're not bad, just a pain for bringing in anything. Aside from that, it is great. I get a room to myself, and a bathroom connected to it too. They've got a big ass tv in the living room and a hell ton of dvds as well as an internet connection, thank god. Its not bad while it is just us girls here, but I have to confess that I am a little worried about when Chris gets back from training. He did say it was ok for me to be here for a while, but since he has been in non-communication training, he has no idea that I am here. I know he will be okay with it, and I know he is a nice guy, but you all know me, I get terribly shy with new people. Which means that Thanksgiving is going to be really awkward. Steph and Chris have at least 3 other people coming over, if not more, unless he is not back from training yet. So yeah, gotta break out of that shell quick. Although, sometimes it is not a problem at all, so lets hope my awkwardness takes a hike that day. I'm a little homesick. I had a dream last night about my Bemidji pals. It is just wierd knowing that I will not be able to see them for a while. And I don't even know how long. Oh well ... *gulp*

Back to the medical thing - don't worry, it is nothing too bad, at least for now. We decided since it wasn't that bad, that I could just wait until I got a job with health insurance. But, it is forcing me to get on a diet of sorts. Which I don't really have a big problem with. Mostly, it has been functioning as an appetite suppressant, which is great for me. But I have to cut back on dairy and foods with a lot of spice, flavor, and acid. Mexican and cheese are on a much limited intake. :( Bland is the thing suggested, and that kinda sucks. I like flavor, what can I say? Oh well, its helping me get on a healthier track.

I guess that is more than enough for now. I'll probably post again soon. Till then, tata!

Ponderings on War

Mom, Dad, and I have been watching a documentary series called The War. It is about WWII, and the base of the series is about how the war effected 4 towns in America. It branches out a lot, but it keeps coming back to the home front and the inhabitants of these towns. Really, it is a beautiful documentary and one I think everyone should watch. I've learned so much about the war - a heck of a lot more than I ever did in class. Also, there is a newspaper editor from MN during that time who has some excerts of his work read. And it is the most beautiful reporting. He was a great writer - simple and sweet, perfect small town newsman writing. That is my favorite part.

However, it is not the easiest series to watch. It's about war - and war is never a beautiful thing. This series is quite touching, and so often while we watch it I have to look to away because I am so angry and frustrated by it. It seriously angers me watching things like this. No wonder there is so much hate in the world. Violence begats violence and so much pain and hurt comes from that. I can't go through an episode without crying 4 or 5 times. It's emotionally ravaging.

I have always been conservatively anti-war pretty much all of my life, and documentaries like this and TV series like M*A*S*H have fueled that feeling in me. Although M*A*S*H is a comedy, there are some very poignent moments. My favorite is actually (I think) a combination of two: Col. Potter looses his composure and in one scene he says something along the lines that humans keep building weapons that can destroy human lives faster than doctors can build instruments to save them, and the other is just him half-crying as he said "...put an end to this stupid war." I know, it sounds corny, but they are very powerful moments. And everytime I think of war now, I hear those words and that anger and pain.

I want to gather world leaders who take us into these wars and I just want to shake them. It seems like they have no hearts, that they don't understand the human cost. I don't think anyone can understand the true human cost - not until we have a way to give a testimony to every single person who is hurt by the war. Or killed. And not just names. Home videos, pictures, writings about their lives, interviews with family and friends - everything. A document of every single life touched by it. Then you might have a glimpse of the human toll.

The trouble is, I don't know if that would even stop war. It seems like there will always be war of some kind. I'm not saying that all war is pointless and bad - because a large part of WWII was necessary. We had to stop Hitler from leading the Germans to taking over the world. And I have no doubt that is what he truly wanted. If the Axis had won the war, I have no doubt that before long, Italy and Germany would have teamed up aagainst Japan. And then Germany would have gone up against Italy. It's not even just taking over the world, it was also the atrocities that he was doing. But we didn't get into the war because of that. We got into it because Japan needed oil and we blocked it from them. So they retaliated. There will always be reasons for going to war, and innocent people will always have to suffer because some people just want control.

Now, I know every army has its reason for being. There would be no war unless there are some grievences. And with a couple of strong leaders, mixed with pride and a problem or two, you have reason. Add to that the right amount of patriotism mixed with radicalism, and you have an army - or rather, a dangerous army. Multiply that by two and you have war.

I know this is increibly depressing. But another movie I have watched also made me re-realize that out of something so terrible can come some things so great. Where there is tragedy, there will be triumph in the human spirit. Of all things, I was watching Hollywood Canteen on TCM the other night (By the way, love TCM!) and although it is not a very deep film, I was touched by the story of how the Canteen came to be and how everyone in Hollywood pulled together to give the soldiers a good time before they left or when they finally came back. Which also was reflected everywhere in that time. It was one of the last times America pulled together for a cause. Everyone, it seemed, did their part to contribute to the effort. We got a glimpse of it after Sept. 11, but that was very quickly overshadowed by outspoken, bickering singers and anti-war protests, and charging into a war with a country we weren't sure we wanted to go to war with.

So, while it was an atrocious time, the world wars have gone down in history as the good wars. The ones almost everyone wanted to fight. But truly, there is no good war. I wish there was a way to make people settle it themselves. I'm not saying that duels and fistfights are more humane, but at least they are one on one. No innocent bystanders. I support the military and I pray for them, but I would much rather that they didn't need to exist. Not the people, but the institution. I can't imagine they would feel that much different about it.

Teej

Late Night Ponders

So. I have had some issues with sleeping. I usually do not get to sleep until about 4 or 5 in the morning. I don't know why, but my mind is so much more alive in the deep dark of the night. I think, I watch movies, I listen to my music, I fool around on the computer, and I write. I feel like I have lost that talent - to write. But I haven't. I just don't have the flair for fiction that I once had. I have even lost a little of my creative non-fiction flare. But that always seems to be case when you lose something to write about. I guess what I do now is coronicaling. I coronical my life. Not so impressive as it may be.

I have been able to work extensively on my movie list. Since I found out it existed, it has been a goal of mine to see all the movies on the AFI's Top 100 Movies. With all this time and all this lack of sleep I have been able to seriously knock off some of them. I found some I really like, and some I really didn't. 2001: A Space Odyssey. I mean, what the hell was that about?! Right now I am watching Doctor Zhivago. A sprawling epic, I would say thus far. But I don't now if I like it or not yet. Beautiful music though.

I just don't have anything to write. At least nothing that is nice to think about. Some not so pleasantries: I still have not gotten a job. Not from lack of trying. I have gotten a call about scheduling an interview with a place in Bemidji, and I have been trying for the last two days to get back into contact with them. Which proves to be harder than it should be. But I'm not going to give them much rest until they do get back with me. I think this would be a wonderful help. A job - in Bemidji. A JOB, in a town where there is at least some theatre. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because, well, it would be a rather big disappointment if I didn't get it. I don't suppose I will, but that will not come from lack of trying. I need something.

Aside thing: My mind has been wracked with dreams of my friends. My dear friends. I miss them so much. A few in particular, and one or two I can not get out of my mind. Thank God for social networking. It makes it so much easier and much more casual. Letters are more romantic, more friendly, more sentimental, more ... meaningful. But there are people you can chat with and you can write on their walls that would deem a letter highly inappropraite. Why is that? I guess the charm of letters is that now they are so formal. I have always been bad at writing letters. I always stop and rewrite. I guess that is why typing is so much easier for me.

Well, I am getting way off subject and I am saying nothing, so I guess I should just quit now. sorry about this waste of a blog. I wish I had something to say, something to tell. But unfortunately I don't. I will try to refrain from blogs like this until I have something to say. Till then or till I get bored again
Teej

I Have the Coolest Mom

Ok, so I have to write about this. My mom is amazing. As many of you may or may not know, I am currently stuck in Thief River Falls. Finding a job outside of the area is near impossible, and even finding one that is in the area is also proving challenging.
So, having money is a thing - or rather, lack of money. And being apart from all of my friends definately is taking its toll on me. For a shy person, I am rather social - so this seperation from friends, from theatre, is taking its toll on me. Mom and Dad, while they are not like me in this aspect, understand how I feel and are being really good about supporting me through this.
This weekend was supposed to be a lake day which my dear friend, Barry, was going to host. A couple old theatre buddies on a lake doing some outdoor things and camping. Wonderful! Problem enters: no money. No way I can go. I warned Mom that I might be cranky this weekend, and she asked me why. I explained.
Mom told me that I could go, and that she would chip in on gas. Then she got this brilliant idea about her state quarter collection. You see, Mom started collection these quarters to make about 4 sets to collect. She had recently come to the idea that this was a waste, as there were so many of these quarters that they would not really be collectible. So, she decided to give me the quarters to turn to cash so I could go.
So we counted and sorted these quarters and I took them to the bank. I got about $50 out of it. So, it was settled, I was going.
As it happens, the event was canceled. But that is beside the point.
The point is, she did that for me. She knew that this meant a lot to me, and she went the extra mile to make sure that I could have this weekend of fun. It doesn't even matter that it is not going to happen. I mean, it does a little, because that sucks, but it means so much more to me that Mom did that.
So, yeah. I have the coolest Mom.

Teej

President's Speech to School Kids

So, I normally do not meddle in politics - for several reasons. One being that I don't know enough, and two being that I do not care to get into these ridiculous narrow-minded fights most people have.
That aside, I will change that this once.
I have just read an advance copy of the President's speech that he will be giving to school children. And you should read it too. It is a good speech. There is no partisan politics in it (as far as I can tell) and it is sending a message to kids that I don't think they hear enough.
I'll leave it there, and let you decide for yourself what you think about it.
Here is the link: http://whitehouse.gov/MediaResources/PreparedSchoolRemarks

Teej

Labor Day at Red Lake Falls

For Labor Day and for my brother Nick's birthday - happy 30th Nick! - we went to Red Lake Falls for a picnic. It was a pretty nice day for it. It was nice to see Nick, Amy, and the kids. Did a little walking around and played on the playgrounds. Got on a swing, something I haven't done in a while, and I remembered how much I miss it. I used to love swinging when I was little and in 3rd grade I was the champion swing jumper in my class. I tried to teach Daniel how to swing on his own, but either I am a bad teacher, or he is still too young to do it on his own because every 2 minutes he was asking me to get him going again. Between those 3 kids, I got my pusher workout.

Took some pictures and some of them turned out pretty good. I'll only post a few, but if you are interested in more you can check them out either on Facebook or my Photobucket account : mizmouse86

Don't have much more to add to that.

Savanna exploring in the water. She had her own island and decided that her name would be Miss Clam Looker because that is what her job would be.

Just a couple pics I took of this man who was fishing in the park. Thought they turned out kinda cool.

The views of the river from the bridge.

The bridge

The wooden beams of the bridge

Amy going 'round and 'round - weee!

Darling little Matthew: don't let the face decieve you, he's ornery.

Just a fencepost.

Old playground equiptment.

Home Alone tonight

Just sitting here, watching movies. Mom and Dad have gone to Mankato for a horseshoe tournament. So I am here alone tonight. Sadly. I could go to the bars, but that is not my scene. Instead I am sitting here bouncing back and forth between the internet, reading The Cider House Rules, reading some scripts, and watching some movies. In a minute I will be starting Frost/Nixon. Which is based on a play about the event, so it better be good.
No rummage sales or auctions tomorrow, so I don't quite know what I will do with myself. Clean house, I guess. Maybe go for a walk and take some pictures. Not much else to do.
Life kinda sucks here in the middle of nowhere.
Oh well. I am going to bake tomorrow. That ought to cheer me a bit. Some baking, some good music to go along with it.
I miss my friends. Next weekend is a get together down by the Cities and I really want to go, but I don't know if I can afford it. At this point I would almost steal the money in order to go. I need to see some of them. It has been too long.

Teej

Auctions and burns

The past 2 weekends have been very intereting for me. But they have also had a painful after-effect. I've been going to auction with my parents. For some reason, the TRF has many of these wonderful auctions. Sometimes they are farm equiptment, but there are also some amazing estate auctions. So, I have been able to get a few finds. A prop cart for $1, a WWII era cot in a bag for $1, a doctor bag and a pair of wooden crutches for $2, and last but not least, a sewing machine and stand for $2 - you know, the old fashioned kind. Here is a picture of the top:

The bottom is iron and it has the pedal, and the sewing machine inside is gorgeous - looks worn, but perfect. Haven't actually tried it to see if it would work, though.
So, I have been lucky. Except for after. After, when I got inside I realized that I was sunburnt. Not just sunburnt ... SUNBURNT. The worst area was just at the hairline on my head. I was stupid enough to keep my bangs back with a headband. And my forhead payed for it! It's still a little tender. So, I'm having second thoughts about checking out the auction scene this weekend. 2 sunburnt weekends in a roll should teach me a lesson, shouldn't it?
I also wanted to show you some of the pics I took at the last auction while I was waiting for them to get started. Some of these are kinda interesting:

A rusted old John Deere tractor. There were about 10 of these older tractors of various makes on auction there.

Some people looking over an old fire department truck. Old, but I think it still ran.

Just a wheel on an old wagon, circa 1900ish

The inside of a 1920s milk truck.

The friend I made at the auction. Fun little pony that snorted at me while I was looking over the tractors.

Dancing

I don't quite know what brought this on, but I have been thinking about dance a lot lately.
I love dance - Any kind. I appreciate it all. But I think what I love most is Social Dance. Not to be confused with Ballroom. Ballroom dances, mostly are competition in style, and while it is very impressive, it is a little too impersonal for me.

I especially love the Waltz. I adore it, really. It is the most beautiful movement. And the music. It's just such a sweet and romantic dance. Plus, its the only one I'm okay at. I can decently Foxtrot and a little Swing. Somewhat bearable with Rumba, and I get the concept of Cha Cha and West Coast Swing. But Waltz I can feel. It's as close to confident as I get. Honestly, there are times when I am waltzing that I can stop thinking about and just feel it.

When and if I ever get married, I want my first dance with my new husband to be a Waltz. And following this fantasy further, I need to Two-Step with my dad, Swing with my brother, Foxtrot with my friend Rob, and Waltz and East Coast Swing with Barry.

I miss social dancing. About as much as I miss singing. The good thing about singing is that you can do it alone. Dancing, to work right, you kinda have to have a partner. As terrified as I was in class and at the monthly dances, I also enjoyed them. Dancing can be so fun with the right people and in the right spirit.

Try it sometime. Any kind of dancing at all. Even dancing at home with a blanket ...

Teej

Rediscovering RENT

Ok, so I am watching the dvd of the final performance of RENT on Broadway. And I have to say, I love it. Watching this show, I can't imagine why some people don't take it seriously. It is such a beautiful show.

Most of the objections that I have heard from people have to do with the ideas behind the show. You know, the "It's all about a bunch of slackers with AIDS who refuse to get a job, so they can't pay their rent" argument. And really, when you boil away the show down to a sentence like that, yeah, it will sound stupid. But that is not at all what it is about. RENT is a metaphor. It's about looking for "connection in an isolating age" It is not about slackers, it is about people who refuse to conform to other people's ideas of what they should do - staying true to your vision without selling out. Yes, a number of the characters do indeed have AIDS - but why is that a bad thing? Consider the time in which it is set. 1990s New York City - a time when AIDS came out to the public in a wave. So many people were struck by it - and they had to learn to live with that horrible, degenerative disease.

RENT was groundbreaking. It was one of the first rock operas, and it dealt with issues and life that hadn't been presented in a musical before. And one person did it all. Like it or not, you have to admit that Jonathon Larson is talented. Music, Lyrics, and Book all by him. That is not easy to do, and he did it well.

It is just so powerful, and it's so real. Its interesting, the juxtaposition they are in. Life is too real for them - so hard - and they're looking for an escape from it. But at the same time, they are also searching for something that is more real, something they can own. Trying to live all they can now, in the moment, because that may be all they have left. Finding something, or someone to connect with.

Why do I like it so much? The disillusionment, the fight, the pain, the despair, the love, the joy, the heart, the message, the words. It's just a beautiful story.

I challenge you to watch it or listen to it. Check judgements at the door and keep an open mind - and really listen to it. The stage version if possible, the movie if you have to. The movie is good, but as Hollywood has to do, they changed some elements and they had to cut a large amount of the music - but it does have most of the original cast members and the story is the same, so it's still pretty good.

Seriously, experience it.

Teej

Welcome Me

Hello there. I'm going to try to keep this pretty short, as it is only the introduction and I don't want to scare you off.

Just so you know, I have a hard time keeping things short. All my email updates are paragraphs long. I like to write, so ... that is that.

My name is Teresa Rankin and I am 23 years old. I'm currently living at my parent's house in Thief River Falls, MN. I graduated from Bemidji State University in 2008 with a BA in Theatre with a double emphasis in History & Literature and Performance as well as a Work Emphasis in Creative Writing. I have a very interesting family. Dad and Mom have been married 31 years (I know, small miracle in this day and age). I have an older brother who is married with 3 kids and I have an older sister as well.

Number One thing you should know about me is that I am all about theatre. It's my life, my reason, my obsession almost. I love it dearly. The past 5 summers I have worked at the Paul Bunyan Playhouse which is a professional summer stock theatre company in Bemidji, MN. It's actually one of the oldest consistantly running groups in America. Next summer we will be celebrating our 60th season! My dream is to get enough money to move down to the Twin Cities and work on theatre there.

Like I said, I am going to try and keep this short, so I think I will end it there for now. More to come later, I assure you.



Teejie