Start of the summer and things are going pretty good. It is WONDERFUL to see all of these people again. I love it, I truly do. Did you ever feel like you just belonged? That's me, here, with these people. It is a bit of an exaggeration, but I can't remember a time I felt so loved before.
But along with this summer comes a lot of hard work. Ideally, I would like to get all properties done before I have to start stage managing. Realistically, this is not going to happen, but in my fantasy world where what is possible is thrown out the door, I can do this. I suffer from my own non-realistic visions. But it keeps me going, keeps me working. I even feel guilty about writing now. Why? Because instead of typing a blog that doesn't matter, I should be typing up the script I'm working on. So yeah, I am a slacker sometimes.
I had planned on an entirely different evening. I was going to work, work, work and get stuff done. But Zach came in and pretty much told me I needed to come to dinner tonight. A good friend of ours, Abe Hunter, amazing pianist and cook, was giving a dinner party for us. Now, who in their right mind would hesitate? That idiot would be me. I was supposed to work like crazy and then have time to join some friends for drinks after. Instead, I had to go to a dinner party.
And I was very glad I did. Mr. Hunter is amazing. We had tomato, mozzerella, and basil with some viniagrette for starters, real chicken parmesean for dinner, and limoncello for dessert. Dinner was a slow progression, interrupted by plenty of talks and stories, as well as some opera performances. Truly, the night was something to marvel at. That was the most sophisticated things I have ever done. A meal with courses, opera, and intellectual discussions on jazz. It was wonderful.
But in our amazing time, we (collectively) let someone down that we had promised to meet. I had to cancel dinner plans with some people I was really looking forward to seeing, and I missed a chance to see one of my most favorite people in the world. On top of that, I didn't get anything done. I had a good time, but I am back in the real world now and all I feel is guilt.
My only comfort is the amazingness of the night we had.
Still, it bothers me. When can I just relax for a change and not feel bad about it?