Thursday, May 13, 2010

Etiquette: On the Street

A lot of people could take a little hint from this chapter.
How to behave in public by Emily Post.
Please keep in mind that a lot of these rules existed from courtesy and for the protection of a lady in a different time - a beautiful time when there was horse-drawn carriages and ladies wore long gowns to the opera.

*this one is a little complex- but only a little. When walking, a gentlemen takes the curb side of the pavement, even if he is with more than one woman. But this is only on the street. When in the car, at the theatre, a concert, or at church, he can where he likes unless they have aisle seats, in which case, he will assume the "curb side"

* Don't Attract Attention! Not to attract attention to oneself in public is one of the fundamental rules of good breeding. More people need to learn this, I think.

*this I find interesting - (back in the day) if you got lost in the crowd, instead of calling out a name to find your friends (which is bad breeding), just hold your hat over your head so the friends can recognize it and find you.

* Bundles: A man will not carry bundles for his lady. He is a man, not a clothes rack. A fine gentleman will offer to help with boxes, golf clubs, maybe even an umbrella. But carrying a clothes is not something men are prepared to do nowadays.

* Offering an arm: Here are a couple rules: a man offers his arm to a lady on any occassion when she may need his support - Not during the day, but always at night - when he is her escort at a ball, a dinner, or a wedding.

* Teej Tip: Speaking of wedding - ushers always offer their arms to the ladies of the party they are seating - if there is more than one lady, choose the eldest, and if there is no appearable age difference choose the one who is first in the party.

* Quick tips - helping a lady: in a car, man out first, offer hand to lady - into a car, man open door, put hand under elbow lady, help her in, get in after - dangerous footing areas, man go first, help lady - in general, a man only precedes the lady when the way is uncertain, or getting out of a vehicle.

* Keep in mind: these actions overdone ... are very bad; but applied with taste, they can be very enhancing.

* Place of honor is on the right. Rules about this have relaxed a little, but it is still prefered to seat a guest of honor on your right. It is the seat of distinction.

* The Question of Paying. In simplest terms the rules of to pay or not to pay rest in the common courtesy and the treat. A man should offer to pay for things if the guest is there at their invitation. However, personal items are not included, ladies. On other occassions, a man is not expected to pay. If he offers, it is expected that his guest should accept and thank him. Although refusing is okay, and keep in mind that no one likes to constantly be indebted to others.

* Teej Tip: Rule of Three - especially in paying. No arguments beyond three retorts! The offer, the counter, the counter-counter. Beyond that, it becomes an arguement and the likelyhood of someone being angered. **This is one of the rules, I have trouble with myself**

* In a public place like a beach or a park, you should do your best to not crowd people, stay out of traffic, and tidy up before leaving.

* simply put - do unto others as you would have them do unto you!

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