Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I'm Poor, But I Wanna Get Married: keeping on track

Actually, this should be subtitled: Keeping yourself Myself on Track.

I have a tendency to get a little carried away sometimes.  I've been planning versions of dream weddings since I was a little girl.  I'm a wedding junky.  I adore weddings.  Mostly because of the amount of love poured into the day, but also because secretly, and deep down, I am a little style diva.  I love good style in any form, though I don't have any to save my life!  So, I would often make up many different scenarios and concepts and colors for weddings and do a lot research a look at a lot of pictures and plan it all out in my mind.  Lots of fun.  But not so good when it comes to planning your own wedding.

Reasons?  #1: Fake weddings have no budget and no limits. #2: there is no one to disappoint when there is no one but yourself. #3: you can pick up and drop concepts like flower petals and, again, no one cares!

So, yeah, I have a tendency to get carried away.  And I am on this wedding.  Looking at the style and contemplating what everything would look like and what everything would cost is starting to take over and I am loosing track of why this is happening in the first place.  So, this blog is my reminder.

Most important: I wouldn't be planning a real wedding if it weren't for Ahren.  He loves me, and I love him, and this wedding is about us getting married.  It sounds so simple.  Sometimes I think people forget that a wedding is nothing without the marriage; the actual act of getting married.  Two people vowing to spend the rest of their lives together.  THAT is why all of this is happening.  And never, EVER, should anything overwhelm that.

What do I want out of this?  Like I said, the most important part is that I get married to Ahren.  But after that, what is important to me?  Why don't I just head to the courthouse? 

The Most Immediate Answer: I would not get married without my mom and dad there.  My Dad HAS to give me away.

The General Answer: I want the important people in our lives to be there for that moment.  Yes, the guests are important.  But it is not about the number of guests and inviting everyone we know.  Honestly, I want the people who don't care to just stay away.  NO ONE should feel obligated to come to this wedding.  I want people to want to be there, and I want the people who have played a big role in our lives to witness that moment.  I want them to be there with us, and for us.

So yeah, I am still going to worry about what kind of decorations to do for the ceremony, and how much a wedding dress costs, and what are our best location options, but at the end of the day, I don't care if people think this was one cheap wedding.  If they think that, then good riddance.  But if they can walk away from all of this knowing how much we love them, and how much we love each other, I will be the happiest bride on earth!

If I can just keep coming back to Love, than I'll be kept on track.

Love and Kisses from the future Mrs!

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