It's Hard, You Know

Well things have been ... going. Not well, but it could be a lot worse.
Had 2 interviews this last week - One with a coffee shop and one with Vanity. Both seemed to go pretty well, especially the coffee shop one. I had great recommendations from employees there, so I am hoping against hope that I get the job. At least it would be something. I won't know from either of those places until the end of this week, so that is frustrating. I've not heard anything from anywhere else. Tomorrow, I begin calling all the places I have put in applications and asking where I am in their process. I have done this with a couple places before, and each said they would get back to me - and each place has had a week to do so. I'm getting very frustrated. Why is it so hard for me to get a job?
Money is getting SO tight and bills are piling, and I'm just getting scared. I CAN NOT go home. I mean, I can, but the last thing I want to do is prove some people right. After a comment this earlier this year, I am bound and determined to make it on my own, but life is not making that easy at all. I know it is not supposed to be easy, but at this point, I just need SOMETHING to go right. I've lost my chance at getting into the Duplex my friend is in. And until I have a job, I don't have anything to offer any perspective landlords. I just feel so helpless right now.
If it weren't for my family and friends, I don't know what I would do. I've become pretty good at enjoying free entertainment and drinking water. I'm on a trivia night team now. Every Monday at Brigid's Cross. We're not amazing, but it is a really fun time. I've gone to a couple free concerts at the local bars, and have been getting into watching my friends play Magic and whatnot.
The best was one day after an interview: I went to a coffee shop to fill out an application and stayed drinking water for a while until I had to meet with a friend to discuss 'Dog Sees God' in another coffee shop. Then we both went to the Pawn Shop to see a friend who works there. The owner, a really wonderful guy, asked if we wanted anything from next door (another coffee shop) and I ended up getting a free chai tea. So my friend and I went next door for a couple hours and just sat and chatted until our other friend got off of work. The thing was: that day began HORRIBLY, and on my way to the interview, I just cried because everything was weighing on me. But sitting in the shop with my free chai and a dear friend talking about this and that and theatre was just the perfect medicine.
Speaking of theatre: it is official - I am directing Dog Sees God. I signed the contract today. Only 2 performances though. Still, we got the alternate version of the script from the author (who, by the way, is the nicest man I have never met), and everything seems to be running smoothly. Hopefully soon, they will schedule production meetings and we will get started on that. Auditions are early October and we perform mid-November. I am very excited, but I am also nervous. I want to use this opportunity for a lot of things; namely to show TU what they can do if they really put their all in, but also to prove that I can do this too. Granted, I don't think this will be able to happen, but I have this secret desire to have a bunch of really important people in my life come to this show, just to show them what I can do as a director.
Aside from that: said good-bye to Andy. That was hard. I was proud though - didn't cry until after I left, and only a little. I know I will see him again, it was just that he bowed to me before I left, and well, you know how sentimental I am. It's a long story, but a bow means something special to the two of us, and so, it just got to me. Saying good-bye to him brought back a lot of feelings I've been having lately. I miss my absent friends terribly. I've been trying really hard not to be "that" friend, so I haven't tried to call anyone, and only occasionally text them. But that's still been pretty hard. There are some that I miss so much; I miss being with them, but mostly I just miss talking to them, and I want to call them so bad, but I can't bother them that way, and well, it's just hard.