Just so you know: A goofy grin will be on my face the entire time I am writing this blog entry. Like the one above. I thought it was a good time for an update - but not much is going on in my life except for one thing: Ahren. So, this is really about him and I.
I hardly need say it: I am happy. And it is all because of him.
So, it's Valentine's Day - and it is also our one month ... Anniversary, for lack of a better expression. Yes, I've been teased about calling it that - but hey: fact is that we have been together one month today. And it has been the happiest month of my life. One one hand, this month has flown by, but on the other hand, I can hardly believe it has only been a month! It's just that we have come so far in such a short time! We keep talking about things we want to do together in the future together. We're trying not to assume anything, but there doesn't seem to be a question of whether or not we are going to be together for a long time. We both are in this relationship for the long run.
It's just natural. We just click.
I still can't believe my luck sometimes, when I think about it. He blows me away sometimes. He is such a good person. An honest to God, country boy gentleman. His instincts are so considerate, so gracious, so kind. I almost feel bad sometimes because he just doesn't seem to understand how good he is. I've tried to tell him that he is too good for me, but he won't hear it. I know that sounds like a wierd thing for me to tell him, but I would feel bad if I didn't at least try to tell him that, because he deserves to know exactly what he ... deserves. But, in a way, it's good for me to feel that way, because it makes me want to really work hard to earn his love and affection. Despite how I feel about that, he doesn't make me feel like I'm not good enough. I know, it sounds wierd, but this is what I mean: I feel that way, but he doesn't make me feel that way. There is a very great distinction there.
He sees me just the way I am: flaws and all, but even as I write that, I don't know if that is true because sometimes I swear that he just doesn't see them at all. He doesn't ignore the flaws - it's like he doesn't even register the fact that they exist. Still, despite that, he still seems to see me completely. He sees what I am afraid of in myself, what I don't like about myself - but also, what I want to be, what I want others to see in me for themselves, but most important: what I am.
Normal good days are not great now that I am with him, and even Life's bad days aren't that bad anymore because I have this love. It's like that song: 'Pocketful of Sunshine' It's true. I've got something that makes it all bearable, a kind of secret comfort. I have someone to talk to - a happy voice, a distraction. I can cry on his shoulder, come to him for advice, bend his ear, everything. I have someone to ask: "how was your day?" He's my celebration partner, my last call, my first thought, my partner in crime, ... my best friend.
I'm looking forward to this weekend. We're going to my parent's for a family get-together. Officially, it is for the Daytona 500, but really, it is just an excuse for us all to get together so that they can meet him. Everyone is going to be there, and I am SO EXCITED! He's a little nervous, and to be honest, I am a little too. Which makes no sense, because I know they are going to like him a lot. And they will be able to see how much I like him - so we will be good. I hope he will like them. One thing I want to make sure of: I don't want him to just be this guy that I'm seeing to my family. I know this sounds like it is looking into the future a bit, but I really want him to be part of the family: one of us.
So yeah... things are going very well.
Before I finish this, I wanted to relate what he did for Valentine's Day. Just 'cause. Also, this shows how well he knows me. We had just spent the weekend together, so when I went into work, I did not imagine I would see him that day. (He lives out of town, and only comes in for work) Then, as I am checking out a customer, I look up and there he is holding a single white rose. :D I was struck speechless (as I very often am with him) All my co-workers were just "awwww" One of my managers even made sure to display the rose on my till so that everyone could see it. It was quite nice to have that constant reminder there all day: someone loves me :D It's funny: all day, men were coming in getting flowers for their ladies, but no arrangement, no bouquet, no stuffed animal and candy combination could hold a candle to my beautiful white rose. So simple, so sweet, so honest. That's Ahren for you: Classic.
Here are some pictures from the past month. Sadly, there are not many. I'm a little distracted when I am with him, so I have a hard time recording it, and there is no one else around to record us together. Oh well.
This is our first picture together: he joined me at a friend's birthday party.
Our first "date day" Ahren had never had his picture taken with Paul and Babe, so we had to rectify that situation quickly.
One month together - I was trying to use the mirror to finally get a picture of us - this is the only one that turned out half-way decently.
Me with my Valentine's Day rose - pretty isn't it?
