Here it is ...

This is has little to do with me and more to do with other people. At least this first part:
I hate it when people make my friends cry. HATE IT! Why, why, why do people have to be jerks to other people? Why does making others feel bad about themselves make them feel good? (Did that make sense?) I don't understand people sometimes, I really don't. And what I don't get more is why people LET others make them feel bad. I don't understand, I just don't. No names mentioned, but a good friend of mine was seeing this guy (sorta, their relationship was never defined by either one) and she did something big for him - life-altering kind of thing - which was at his request. Not too long after the life-altering thing, he began to question their relationship and since then they have been in a relationship through Text message only - and not just sweet texts, but also fighting through texts. What is up with that? This guy was such an asshole and she changed so much for him. Mistake #1. He made her feel bad about things that she liked to do, like hanging out with her friends, etc. And she still took it! ARG! Since they have mostly been not speaking, she felt comfortable going back to doing the things she likes to do. Today he messaged her and accused her of "returning to her old ways" And continued to try and make her feel bad about those things. ARG! ASSHOLE! And she feels bad, and I feel bad for her, but she is not helping herself at all, and the whole thing is just frustrating!

That aside - things with "Dog Sees God" seem to be going well. TU meeting tomorrow night that I was told to come to. Which doesn't makes sense to me because I was told they were not allowed to discuss shows without first talking to Patrick. Oh well, we'll see what happens. Did 2 different script analysises (sp?) One for me, and one for the students. But after all that work, I just have to say this: I had BETTER get to direct this show, and they had BETTER NOT have a problem with paying me for my work because, wow, I have already put in a TON of time on it. I'm getting really geared up for it! The best part: I can actually forsee this happening. If TU really gets it together, this could be one of the best shows they have done in the recent past. I think they can do it, and I have a completely optimistic view about the whole thing. For Now. I am sure at one point of another, something will change, and I will worry, but as for right now, things are looking pretty good. I even have a loose concept statement that I am PSYCHED about! This could happen!

another Update - Dog Sees God, etc

We'll quick update and move on to more interesting things.
I'm doing okay, sorta. Not having a job sucks, especially when bills are slowly trickling away all my savings. So, good-bye rent money, it was nice knowing you. Did have an interview at a Verizon store. Said I would hear back in a couple days or so. Not too encouraged, but I did all I could. Hoping it comes through. Hoping anything comes through. If not, Wal*Mart, here I come.
Knee is doing SO much better. I haven't had to wear the brace in a couple days, and just today I found out that I could go upstairs walking regular with little problem. Going down is still a bit of a problem. The knee gets a little stiff and unsure after three or four steps. But other than that, all good - THANK GOD!

On to more interesting things:
Don't remember if I mentioned this or not last time, but I am currently working on getting together a production of 'Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead' with BSU's Theatre Unlimited group. If they can find their way to pay me, I will be doing the show. I feel kinda bad about asking them for money, but I need all the help I can get and I have already invested a lot of my time into it. On one hand I have my guilt because apparently they don't have a lot of money (what the Heck happened to it all, I don't know) and I want to do this show so badly. But on the other hand, I HAVE to start getting paid for my work. I would be okay with making it a labor of love if I was in school, but I wouldn't be helping them out, or me, by doing this. The students need to understand (as I never did in school) the importance of the business side of theatre.
I'm getting INCREDIBLY excited about the show! I've got a loose concept running around in my brain, now I just have to get it concrete on paper. I'm getting a lot of ideas and I just kinda need someone to bounce those ideas off of right now.
AMAZING thing: I actually got to talk to the author of the play. It was wonderful! He was so nice and incredibly open to my questions. He is sending me the original script and has given me permission to use it if we like it better than the published one. I was so happy to be talking with him, and he just kinda confirmed a lot of the things that I was thinking about the show, and gave a new perspective on it to. Very excited to read the original script and now I can hardly wait to get working on this!
I can only hope that the group is as gung-ho about this as I am. This is such an opportunity for them! It's an edgy show with a lot of message written in the comedy, so it will be wonderful if they just give it 100%. I know they can do this, and I know this can be better than anything they have done before. The only hard part is going to be breaking out of the lackluster way their shows are usually produced. Nothing against them, but in the past (yes, I was apart of it too, I admit) not enough consideration was given to the technical and business side of the production. And if there is one thing I have learned since my time at BSU, it is the importance of tech theatre. A lot of people don't get that, and it makes for lesser quality shows. (don't even know if that sentence works structurally, but hey, there it is.) I can not WAIT for this!

Quick Update.

Sorry folks, but I won't be able to be on Blogger much for a while. 'Why?' you may ask. Well, it's a quick long story.
My Hard Drive on my laptop freaked out on me. It needs to be "wiped" according to the professionals. So what does that mean? It means $135. if I don't want to keep any files and it means $250. if I do. So, that won't happen for a while. I may loose ALL my pictures in the process, so yeah ... trying not to think about that.
That aside: Playhouse is over. I'm too busy to be depressed about that, but there is the end of season sadness that lingers for a while after everyone has left. I miss them all - especially certain someones - but mostly I miss my job. One thing I will say about the Playhouse: I have never been happier than when I am working there.
I'm in job search mode now. I've filled out an ass ton of applications and I have an ass ton more to fill out. I hate those damn things. Hopefully one will lead to full time employment.
Theatre prospects: Although it is not official, I have been asked to direct BSU's TU production of 'Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead' SUPER excited about that. If it happens. Nothing against the administration of the group, but there is history of a lot of talk with no action. I know it is selfish of me, but I am going to push this to happen. They have the talent, the resources, and the capability. But I don't know if they would want me as their director. I've got some very definite standards that I would try and make them live up to. But I will say this, I have read the play over a couple times, and I am having trouble finding out what it is. What does the playwright want to do with this show? "Find An Identity" is a major theme in the show, but it seems like the show itself is trying to do that. I've read a lot of reviews and watched some clips and it seems as though every production is SO varied. There is no common element except the words being said. On the plus side: that makes for a lot of artistic input. So for now, I am just trying to imagine what I would want to say with it and how I would make it work. I've started a lot of research on the Peanuts characters and the show, so I am constantly thinking about it. Like I said: I am super excited! Hopefully this will happen, and hopefully it will be something they can be proud of.
What else? Not much. Staying with my friend Sarah until I can move into my new place. Sharing it with KD and 2 others girls. Don't know them, but we're all into theatre, so at least there is something in common there.
Like I said, I won't be available much, so reviews, Etiquette posts, and 'Rimers of Eldritch' thoughts are going to be put on hold for a while. Sorry.
Oh - and Sarah was nice enough to take some pictures of me. As much as I don't like me in them, of the ones I have seen, I LOVE the pictures. We're going to try to get some more, and hopefully I will get a new headshot out of the deal. Which is great because I kinda really need one. Look for those on her Flicker account and hopefully I will be able to post some when she is done editing them.
TTFN - ta ta for now!

thoughts: Rimers of Eldritch - characters

** Disclaimer! Before I get into this, I should just mention that these are my thoughts only. Well, not really. I've gotten ideas from others, but what I want to get across is that they are only thoughts of an individual. I am NOT trying to imply that my way is the right way for everyone. I will also admit that I can be wrong - and more often than not, I am. So - just keep that in mind.
The way I will be going about this is by character, but I will also insert group bits as well as characters who do not make an appearance in the show, but are mentioned.


Robert "Driver Junior" Conklin - 18 years old. A boy on the doorstep of life. He just graduated from high school, and he doesn't know what he is going to do, if he is going to go or stay. Robert has lived in his brother's (Driver) shadow all of his life - and now that he is grown up, he is feeling the pressure of peoples' expectations for him. He's kinda quiet, shy with people, and socially a little awkward. There is a frustration in him that makes an appearence every now and again, which leads you to believe he is a little repressed. However, he is sensible, smart, and practical. He finds comfort in his strange friendship with Eva.

"Driver" Conklin - Robert's deceased brother. He was 12 years older than Robert and the exact opposite. He was outgoing, popular, and utterly confident. He used to drive in car races, and was very good. It is those races that a lot of people remember fondly - a highlight in their lives. But he had a darker side too. He was dating Betty Atkins before his death, and it was not a good relationship. He was a little wild and he did some vandalism. He died in an accident at the races. It is unclear exactly how Robert and Driver got along. Robert never went to his races, which can say one of many different things: either he didn't like his brother or he resented all the attention he got, or he was scared of the races, but adored his brother; or any level of medium between the two. My pet thought is that there was some admiration and a bit of resentment.

Eva Jackson - 14 - Crippled girl. The script doesn't exactly say what is wrong with her - just that she is not like others, that she gets fatigued easily. I don't know where I got this idea, but there is the thought that she has one leg shorter than the other, or she has some trouble with one of her legs. I also think it is also due to over-protection from her mother. She is a little bit of an outcast because of her limitations, but also because she doesn't fit into the crowd. She's a bit of a dreamer. Eva is young, but she wants so badly to grow up. She is at that awkward stage, trying so hard to be so grown up. The best way I can describe it is "Spring Awakening"

Robert and Eva - they have a very strange relationship. No one really understands it, and I think that includes them. They take comfort in each other. Robert can be just himself with Eva, with no pressure - and Robert is the one person who doesn't baby Eva, and she is drawn to that. Also, Robert is almost the only male in Eva's life and I think Eva sees him as all the different men she is missing: father, brother, son, boyfriend. But as much as they get along, they also don't. They always seem to be on the edge of getting on each other's nerves. They teeter that line throughout the play and it changes so quickly that you hardly ever know exactly how they feel about each other at any given moment.

More to come later, and the more I think about these characters, I will probably be editing this as well.

thoughts: Rimers of Eldritch - set-up, setting, and plot.

I have to get all of these thoughts out anyways, so why not blog it?
Here's the jist: 'Rimers of Eldritch' is a play by Lanford Wilson. Barry had me read it a couple years ago, and I fell in love with it. Now it has become something that I HAVE to work on. Well, not just work on, it is something I have to do. I have a ton of director's notes, I know the story backwards and forwards, I even have set design, lights, sound, and costume ideas as well as general blocking figured out. I had a reading of the play a little while ago - simply because I needed to hear it outside of my head. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone was impressed.
To be fair though, this is not something I think a lot of people can understand with just one reading. The script is rather complicated. It jumps back and forth in time without much indication of timeline. I do think this play is better after you've studied it awhile.
I have, and I have a lot of thoughts on this - especially on the characters. So this blog entry - probably will be a long one - will be an attempt to get some of these story and character thoughts out in the open. If anyone cares to comment, I welcome other opinions!

Basic Setting: The play takes place at various times during the Spring, Summer, and Fall of a year in and around the town of Eldritch somewhere in the midwest. There are several references to Des Moines, Chicago, St. Louis, and since the author was from Missouri, people generally tend to place it there. It is usually played in the late 1950s, early 1960s. Eldritch was once a bustling coal mining town, but since the coal ran out, has been reduced down to almost a ghost town. The general feeling the script gives you about the town is that almost everything is either closed, or in disrepair. The people living there seem kind of stuck, and are worn out from life.

Basic Plot: Like I said before, the play kind of travels back and forth around this one event. Although, its not life you see a scene before the event, then a scene after, then before, then after, with the powerful event in the middle. There is no logic, it seems, to the showing of what happens when. Often, you don't really know when a scene takes place - mostly because you don't really know exactly what the main event is until near the end of the play. But this play is about more than just this event. It is a portrait of this town, and the people in it. It is unflinchingly accurate with some of its cruelty, but there is also great beauty in the script. Wilson takes the ordinary and makes it poetry without losing an authentic feel; kind of a common man's Shakespeare - and that is a compliment. PLOT SPOILER - basically, the event is the almost rape of a young girl, and the death of an innocent man. But like it said, it is also so much more than that. This is as scaled down a plot as I can muster. Because so much of this story is about the town, and only has some connection to this event. You'd have to read it to understand what I mean by that, but trust me, which that event is the center of the plot, it is not the center of the overall story.

More to come later - will start with character descriptions next. :D