I'm Poor, But I Wanna Get Married: keeping on track

Actually, this should be subtitled: Keeping yourself Myself on Track.

I have a tendency to get a little carried away sometimes.  I've been planning versions of dream weddings since I was a little girl.  I'm a wedding junky.  I adore weddings.  Mostly because of the amount of love poured into the day, but also because secretly, and deep down, I am a little style diva.  I love good style in any form, though I don't have any to save my life!  So, I would often make up many different scenarios and concepts and colors for weddings and do a lot research a look at a lot of pictures and plan it all out in my mind.  Lots of fun.  But not so good when it comes to planning your own wedding.

Reasons?  #1: Fake weddings have no budget and no limits. #2: there is no one to disappoint when there is no one but yourself. #3: you can pick up and drop concepts like flower petals and, again, no one cares!

So, yeah, I have a tendency to get carried away.  And I am on this wedding.  Looking at the style and contemplating what everything would look like and what everything would cost is starting to take over and I am loosing track of why this is happening in the first place.  So, this blog is my reminder.

Most important: I wouldn't be planning a real wedding if it weren't for Ahren.  He loves me, and I love him, and this wedding is about us getting married.  It sounds so simple.  Sometimes I think people forget that a wedding is nothing without the marriage; the actual act of getting married.  Two people vowing to spend the rest of their lives together.  THAT is why all of this is happening.  And never, EVER, should anything overwhelm that.

What do I want out of this?  Like I said, the most important part is that I get married to Ahren.  But after that, what is important to me?  Why don't I just head to the courthouse? 

The Most Immediate Answer: I would not get married without my mom and dad there.  My Dad HAS to give me away.

The General Answer: I want the important people in our lives to be there for that moment.  Yes, the guests are important.  But it is not about the number of guests and inviting everyone we know.  Honestly, I want the people who don't care to just stay away.  NO ONE should feel obligated to come to this wedding.  I want people to want to be there, and I want the people who have played a big role in our lives to witness that moment.  I want them to be there with us, and for us.

So yeah, I am still going to worry about what kind of decorations to do for the ceremony, and how much a wedding dress costs, and what are our best location options, but at the end of the day, I don't care if people think this was one cheap wedding.  If they think that, then good riddance.  But if they can walk away from all of this knowing how much we love them, and how much we love each other, I will be the happiest bride on earth!

If I can just keep coming back to Love, than I'll be kept on track.

Love and Kisses from the future Mrs!

I'm Poor, but I Wanna Get Married - Changes (and Update and Explanation)

This blog is a little more personal than the rest, but I did find an overall theme that most brides will have to contend with, so let me explain:

Changes. Obviously, they are closely related to compromises, they are going to be apart of your wedding, and while they are sometimes not fun, it's something you will have to learn to live with, and be relatively happy about it.  Here's hoping that the changes in your wedding will be relatively un-stressful.  You just have to learn to go with the flow, take a deep breath, and move on.  But here is something else that I just discovered the other night: No matter what, remember that you need to keep the end product in mind.  Its about your Wedding - the day that you join your life with another.

Moment of rant: forgive me, but this has been on my mind.  I'm a wedding show junkie (I admit it, I love watching wedding shows. A lot,  like a LOT!)  But I noticed something, and it bugs the crap out of me.  It's all about color and theme and look and price.  Never once have I seen a bride on one of those shows say: "I want this day to be about celebrating our love for one another"  Maybe that is because it should go without saying.  But when you are going to be married, why, OH WHY, would you not say that over and over again?  Just something I had to get off my chest.

Anyways ...

My fiance is not as enthused about wedding planning as I am.  He's not un-interested, but at a certain point, his eyes get a kind of glaze and I realize that it has probably become too much and that he has had enough. Poor guy. The two of us are not decision makers by nature.  We're both too afraid to make the wrong decision, and disappointing someone, or do something wrong.  We are almost too sensitive to the needs of others.  This obviously makes things a lot harder.  I mean, I have a hard time convincing myself that planning what I am going to wear that day is not incredibly selfish; We're just more focused on our guests.  Early on, we decided that the most important part of that day was our getting married, but the second most important part of that is having the people we love with us.

Which brings us to our Change.  We found out over Christmas that my sister is pregnant again!  YAY!  Niece or Nephew #5 is on it's way!!!!  First off, let me make it clear that we are EXCITED for Steph, Chris, Dakota, and Baby Pickles pt 2 (this is my name for future little one).  New Baby, New Baby, New Baby! (You can't see it, but I'm doing a happy dance right now)

Now, for the less fun part: Steph did the math and realized that the approximate due date would be a little too near the wedding.  We can't guarantee that Chris will be able to get leave to come to the wedding, so it could be just Steph and Dakota (and possibly Baby Pickles pt2).  Driving all the way from NY is out, and air travel in the 3rd trimester is a "No."  Train is a possibility, but any travel when you are that far along is problematic at best. So, basically, if we wanted Steph at the wedding, we had to move the date.  :S  Enter our problem.

We either had to move the wedding up to May, or push it back a month or more.  As time is your friend for a Budget Bride, shaving off 4 months of planning and saving was something we just couldn't do.  So we had to move it back.  We wanted Chris there, but the only way we could guarantee that is if we held out until around Christmas.  While it was a bonus for the people in our immediate family, and anyone who would already be in the area, for most others, it would be a major problem.  Most everyone from outside the general northern Minnesota area would probably not come.  Not to mention, that we risk bad traveling conditions, which would make it possible that NO ONE from out of state would come.  If there should be a blizzard, we would have to postpone anyways, and we just thought that it would be too risky.  (By the by, as I write all this, I still feel INCREDIBLY guilty)

Long story short(er), we settled on October.  Second weekend in October.  October 13, 2012!! Which, I came to realize afterwards is my Grandma & Grandpa Gaskill's Anniversary.  Figures, huh?  I mean, we picked the first date and then I realized that it was Mom's birthday, and now we pick a second day and this.  At first, I was worried that people might think we are trying to overshadow their special day, but I was convinced that instead, it would just be a good omen.

I know this throws a monkey wrench in plans for some people, and trust me, I feel bad about it.  But, I figure, more time to change plans is better than less time.  I hope no one gets mad.  I'm trying to maintain the idea that the people who want to be there will be there if they can.  I'm trying to please all, and this Change was a little bit of a wake up call.  I can't please everyone, and maybe I should be focusing more on the two of us.  I still have a hard time with this, though. 

Good news though: this has inspired Ahren and I to make more definite decisions, and this has also led to setting a wedding dress shopping date.  I've been fighting with myself about that.  Being very Budget-conscious, I figured that I would just skip it altogether, since I figured I wouldn't be able to afford a store dress.  Plus, you know how I feel about focusing on myself, even though I kind of want to do it.  However, Ahren has been pushing me to do this, and he and Mom ganged up on me, and we've set a Shop Date!  So, look out Fargo, I'll be seeing you Jan 28th, and we'll be trying on pretty dresses!  I'm getting kind of excited about the whole thing, which has led me to another "moral" to pass on to brides like me:

Have Fun!  It's so easy to get bogged down in the chores and worries that go with planning a wedding.  So much so, that sometimes it feels selfish to concentrate on something that makes you happy.  You and you alone.  I honestly struggle with this. But the thing is, if you don't concentrate on something that makes you happy, you will come to resent the whole wedding.  What Ahren made me realize is that going shopping is not about spending money, it's a bonding experience and its helpful.  Whether we find a dress or not doesn't matter.  It will help me to see myself as a bride, help me decide what I want to look like, help me get excited, hopefully without feeling selfish.

So, please, brides everywhere.  In honor of this, have some happy wedding planning time.  Go shopping with the important women in your life.  Dish about the details with your bridal party. Watch wedding shows with your best friend. Surf the net with your fiance.  Go to as many taste tests as you want!  Enjoy it!

I think that is probably more than enough for now.  More to come as it comes!

Hugs and Kisses from the Future Mrs!

I'm Poor, but I Wanna Get Married - DIY and Being Thrifty

Hello! I realize it has been a while since I posted last. What have I been up to in the world of wedding planning? Gathering projects and getting started. So, this blog is about DIY - with a dash of being Thrifty in the process.

DIY (do it yourself) is sometimes necessary for the Budget Bride, and being Thrifty IS a necessity. Especially when you are DIYing. Contrary to popular belief, not everything DIY is cheaper. Sometimes the price of the materials you need to make the item is more than it costs to buy a ready-made item. Sometimes. It depends on your style, what it is, and what you can get the materials for.

This is where being Thrifty comes in. And if there is one thing I am good at, it is being Thrifty. I think it is in my bloodline. My mom does not give herself enough credit for this, but she is the one who taught me by example how to decorate simply, but prettily. Being a props person has also taught me a thing or two about decorating appropriately on a tight budget. So, I am most fortunate.

Here are some tips: get to know your local second-hand or thrift stores. You will be surprised what you will find in there sometimes. If you don't like items second-hand, then you will have a MUCH harder time, and I have to ask you: what is wrong with you??? Bonus: it's Green to Re-use! Another tip: if you can, join any Barter, Re-Sell, Exchange groups or sites in your area. There are a couple locally for me that I check, and I have been able to find some amazing things. Another thing on your side: people love to help out with a wedding! I have had a number of responses on my posts about needing items for a wedding, as well as some offers for cheap services too. Former Brides generally love to help Future Brides out.

The downside to this is that you will have to swallow the sometimes bitter pill of Compromise. Get used to this. Sometimes it will be heartbreaking. This is where the priorities of the wedding will help out. Its okay to have those items where you don't want to compromise, but generally, if you are on a tight budget, you will have to get used to it. I've had to. I always dreamed big for my wedding because it was not reality, but now that it is, I have come to keep those old plans as dreams, and look to the more simple side of things. But that doesn't mean that I am compromising style a bit - it's just changed, that's all.

So, I've been looking for easy (because I am NOT a DIY goddess) projects that I can do which will eliminate some expenses. Most of the ideas a decorative, but some are more practical. Here's another thing to keep in mind: after the wedding, what are you going to do with the items? You could give away, re-sell, or keep. Me, I am a fan of keeping. Generally, most of these projects are things that I wouldn't mind keeping ahold of and using in my home. I also like the idea of passing on some items to my kids or other family who are getting married.

Enough chatter, and time for pictures and more chatter :P

INSPIRATION: Burlap Ring Bearer Pillows

The Practical Side: I bought a throw sized burlap covered pillow for $1 at a local Thrift store. I needed 2 small ring bearer pillows, so took it apart and made two smaller pillows. Other materials needed: scissors, thread, other decoration as desired.

REALITY: Now, because I am not the best sewer there is, and because I don' t have a sewing machine, I just hand stitched them with colored thread (to match our "colors", and so we could tell which ring goes to which kid and carries what ring) so there would be a rustic looking frayed edge. Now I just need to decorate them. Here is what they look like now:

INSPIRATION: Burlap roses!

I can't tell you how excited I am by this! I'm not going the traditional route with flowers for this wedding - too expensive. No bouquets for the bridesmaids and no petals for the flower girls. Instead, we are going to do a Rose Ceremony, which basically involves the passing out of flowers to random members of the congregation and having them and the attendants place roses in a vase indicating the support from friends and family of the couple in their marriage. That pretty much eliminated the need for bouquets. But I still wanted to have something to toss. Then I found this. PERFECT!!! Now I just have to determine if I want to do all flowers as burlap. I'm still not sure about how far I want to take this. I could make boutonnieres and bouquets from burlap, and the flowers for the Rose Ceremony. Hmmm ... still have to think of this.

The Practical Side: Burlap cut into strips, glue gun & sticks, floral sticks, opt decorations (pearled hat pins & ribbons. I found burlap sacks for sale at our L&M Fleet Farm @ $.49 a sack! There is a possible down side: since these are used sacks, there is colored writing on them. However, since we're cutting it into strips, I think a dash of color here and there will be a nice dash of color. I've also gotten some pearled corsage or hat pins from my future MIL, so I've got a nice start on what I need. This will be more time than money, I think :)

REALITY: (haven't been able to start this yet)

INSPIRATION: Card Suitcase

This is one I am incredibly excited about!

Two great parts about this: #1: easy transportation for cards, wedding album, and guest book from ceremony to reception site. #2: instant storage for wedding memorabilia after the wedding. You won't have to wonder which box your wedding album is in - you'll know exactly where to find everything!

The Practical Side: this could be costly, or it could be cheap depending on your taste, and just plain luck. Vintage suitcases can be kind of pricey in antique stores, but if you look around, you can probably find something cheap that will do, or you can get something from friends or family. (Note: the type of suitcase you get can also compliment your wedding look. I saw one of these on a site for a 60s california theme that was so retro, it was adorable!) Aside from that you can do just about anything. If you buy craft items and fillers, it can be expensive, but this is where thrifty comes in. I use found items, and I also like using what little craft talent I have, so most of this is going to be pretty cheap.

REALITY: I've got the suitcase! I got it for free on a Barter/Trade site from a woman I am working with on a show. Isn't it perfect? I will keep you all updated on this as I work on it, but this is what I have to start with:

INSPIRATION: Burlap and Doily DIY projects

Isn't this adorable?!?! I was researching old wedding customs and I came across one that said the couple walked from the homes to the church behind a banner. This is kinda the reverse of that, and I just think its cute. So, the flower girls will be the first to exit, carrying this sign as we leave the ceremony. Another good thing: This can be attached to the head table, and displayed in the home for the first couple of months or so. It also makes an adorable hand-me-down.

The Practical Side: Items needed: clear burlap piece, yarn, ribbon, fabric flowers (or items to make your own). I'll keep you posted when I start this!

How much do I love this? SO much. Simple, but adorable. Just take a bunch of paper doilies of various sizes and shapes and put them on christmas lights. If you want color, you can use colored lights or paint the doilies to match your theme. And how adorable would these be on valentines day???

The Practical Side: Items needed: various paper doilies and a string or two of christmas lightsDoily and burlap banner. Again, simple, but versatile. You can spell out words with the doilies, or use felt or other fabric over the doilies for letter, or just leave it as is for simple decoration.

The Practical Side: Items Needed: scissors, thread, burlap, doilies, any additional decorations.

I couldn't find a picture of the finished product, but this is doily flower garland. Just imagine strings of these adorable "buds" creating a curtain around behind you. Even better if you are using a canopy of sorts - especially adorable if the wind is slightly blowing!

The Practical Side: Items Needed: various round doilies, thread, needle

INSPIRATION: The Soundtrack of Us

This is one of the pet projects that I will probably not be able to do, but I love the idea so much that I wanted to share it with all of you:

Make your own wedding/relationship soundtrack! Think about it: music is key in most weddings, and each wedding has its own required playlist. You think you have amazing taste in music, and you think others will enjoy it? Make your own soundtrack!! (I imagine there might be some legal restrictions about selling these, so be careful!) I've already started gathering songs. Most will be determined by your wedding song choices (ie: first dance song, father/daughter dance, etc); but throw in some fun songs that you and your partner just like. I'm throwing in the song that Ahren sang for his first kareoke experience ;) Have FUN with it!

The Practical Side: this can be expensive :( Blank Cds are not badly priced, but to get enough for everyone with cases, will get pricey.

INSPIRATIONS: Mason Jar projects.

I'm not 100% sure where I can use all of these. At this point, we're not sure about needing table decorations at the dance. However, I figured that I would want these in my home either way, so if nothing else, I have options, and I have cute pieces for decorating the home afterwards.Silhouette Mason Jars - whether these are for vases or candy jars or luminaries, they are so sweet and simple. I love the idea, and I think they'll be pretty easy to make. I think I might stick with hearts though - the silhouette might prove to be too hard (I'm not exactly artistic - drawing was never my strong point.)

The Practical Side: Items Needed: mason jars, spray paint, construction paper or stencils and their reverses, tape

Doily Covered Luminaries - again, sweet and simple. The hardest part is going to be finding all the doilies without paying too much. I had not idea how expensive they can get -especially the delicate ones. But they are so beautiful that I just couldn't pass this idea by. It looks like some hot glue and a lot of patience required for these.

The Practical Side: Items Needed: mason jars, fabric doilies, tape or glue, other decorative elements, candles

Chicken Feeder Candy Dish - this is going to prove the most expensive. I've done some searching online and apparently the base alone goes for about $16 a piece. No kidding. I can find really cheap ones (plastic) but they're not so cute - and the colors don't fit the look I am going for. So, if any of these ideas do not get used, it will be this one :(

The Practical Side: Items Needed: Mason Jars, Poultry feeders w/ jar openings, decorative elements as desired, candy

Book page luminaries. Instead of wrapping all the way around, I would place bits and pieces around the mason jars. Concentrating on poems, quotes, famous passages, or just cute art. The best thing about this is that you can do anything with it - you can do themes pieces for seasons or occasions, or just looks. It seems simple enough, and I like making collages, so this should be one I could do fairly easily. Hopefully.

The Practical Side: Items Needed: Mason Jars, book pages, glue & water (can also use tape), paintbrush, candles

I hope you enjoyed this peak into the process! Hopefully I will be able to keep you posted as each of these are made!

Hugs and kisses from the future Mrs!

Teej

I'm Poor but I Want to Get Married! Inspirations!

First and foremost I should start with the moral of this blog: Inspiration is Free! It only takes a little bit of time and interest, and if there is one thing that us Budget-driven Brides have it usually is interest. So, here's a tip: Get searching! Can't afford all those wedding magazines? Guess what? The Internet is your friend! Most (if not all) magazines have websites online, and searching through there is just as easy as reading the magazine. I'm telling you, get on any and all wedding sites (usually free to join), pick up the magazines, watch a wedding show, Google weddings. Another thing to remember: Don't limit yourself when searching! Don't ignore something just because it appears expensive. I've gotten plenty of ideas watching shows like "Platinum Brides" and have catered them to my own taste and $ amount. But here is another thing to remember: not everything you see can be catered down. Sometimes that $14,000 dress, really is out of your reach. But, if you're a little clever, a little crafty, and/or know someone who is, you can overcome some obstacles.

Now that we are done teaching, now it is time to see pretty things! My inspirations! I've gathered a bunch of photos of things that I think are pretty cool, or that I want to incorporate into the wedding somehow. These inspirations are mostly in the decor and food. The look of the wedding, minus fashion. We'll start with the mouth-watering food! Hope you enjoy!

OMG! Pink milk in tiny glasses! Ohhhhh! I doubt whether or not I can figure out a way to fit this into the wedding, but isn't that just perfect for me?!?


This has 2 things that I love: the wood cake "stands" and the cakes themselves. I'm not into the "One Cake to Rule Them All" deal. I have too many people who like too many different things. I have people who are diabetic, and some people who can't have gluten, so I want to cater to their needs as well. Which is why I have decided to do several different cakes, and have a personal "sweetheart" cake for me and my fiance. Also, I want a homemade love kinda feel to the wedding, so this picture perfectly gets the feel of what I'm thinking.

Okay, so this isn't for sure yet, but we're thinking instead of having a meal, which we really can't afford anyways, we might concentrate on dessert instead. Our wedding is going to be early afternoon, we are going to take a break, and then follow with the reception later in the evening. This means: everyone gets food in between, and we provide a dessert bar! A little something for everyone. Yes, this can get expensive, but since we are concentrating on simple pleasures, our desserts can be just that: simple, delicious treats.

Whoever came up with this idea is BRILLIANT! Rock Candy on Cakes! I love, Love, LOVE this idea. A really cheap way to add a little sparkle and/or color and/or Bling to your cake. I mean, it's Rock Candy ... on your WEDDING CAKE!! *Heart this!*

Not sure if this is for me or not, but I do like this: it's a bouquet of brooches. Flowers can be expensive and last for a very short time. But you can find brooches in the attic, at second hand stores, rummage sales, flea markets, or auctions, ranging in price from expensive to "please take these off my hands" Not to mention, your entire bouquet can have your "something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue" in it. Like I said, I don't know if this is something I want to do, but it certainly makes me think outside the box on how to cut back on the floral budget.

My real wedding inspiration. Alyssum. I love these flowers SO MUCH! They were on bushes outside the house I grew up in. I fell in love with this flower commonly called "carpet of snow" If I can find a way to have these flowers in my wedding, I will!

These luminaries touch my antique heart! Take old books, or pictures, or sheet music; tear out some pages, glue them on to candle holders and put in your candles. But don't limit yourself to just luminaries. I have seen similar things used as vases, favors, and candy dishes. Neat huh? This also has the ability to last beyond your big day and make amazing conversation pieces in your home.

I know, again with the luminaries?! Hey, I love candlelight! Add to that my love of mason jars and doilies, and you have the perfect addition to my wedding! These are so adaptable! Like the luminary above, this can have other uses as well, and again, also makes the great transition from wedding to home!

Oh, you can bet I will be doing this! Vintage suitcase turned card holder! I've seen some that are fairly plain (like this one) or some that got a complete new makeover for the occasion. One even used the basic idea of the paper luminary and applied it to the suitcase, and you know what? It was brilliant! Something else to consider: easy transport on the wedding day, and easy storage for your wedding memorabilia afterward.

Again, I am SO DOING THIS! All you need: Christmas lights (colored would be cool too) and paper doilies - BAM, you have a fabulous addition to your lighting decor! Both cheap and fabulous looking. Also: Christmas decorations!

I Love this! This is an altered version of an old tradition (variations found in many cultures). The bride and groom were to walk to the church together surrounded by family and friends as well as their attendants. Usually they would be led by a child - usually a girl with flowers (hence the walk down the aisle proceeded by a flower girl). This takes that tradition, but uses it for the exit of the couple from the church and to either their new home, or the reception. I love this idea, and I really want to use this in our wedding!

This is the Master Inspiration photo. I'm pretty sure I shared this with the blog before, but its worth posting again. Vintage, lilac, alyssum, mason jars, burlap ... This has it all! It is sweet and simple and beautiful. This is what I want our wedding to be.

PS: I figured out a new sign off for these posts! It's kinda corny, but I love it:

Hugs and Kisses from the future Mrs!

I'm Poor, but I Wanna Get Married! save the Dates, Bridal Expos, and Bridesmaids dresses

Let me start this with a confession: for a while there, I lost all enthusiasm for planning this wedding. With all the personal changes in my life, the wedding took a backseat in a major way. I didn't even enjoy looking through magazines anymore! Why? Well mostly because I lost my job, and I still haven't been able to find anything. Money is TIGHT right now. So, the last thing I wanted to do is think about a wedding that I can't afford to have.

What got me out of this wedding depression? My two best friends. My wonderful Matron of Honor and my darling fiance. I owe so much happiness to these two people, simply because of their presence in my life. But each went the extra mile lately to really help me get out of my financial "funk."

My MOB is designing our Save the Dates, and not too long ago she sent me the proofs of a dozen design possibilities. Sorry, no previews until we finalize the designs, but I can say that they were wonderful! Looking at all the options and talking together about what we liked, and what we loved - just the act of making wedding decisions together about something made for us by someone so close to two of us, really perked me up and got me excited! Here's the savings part: we're sending out our STDs via email (yes, I know how terrible that looks and sounds, bear with me.) We're looking at our guest list - which will be another post once we haggle over that - and figuring out who needs printed out copies, and who can recieve them via internet. In this day and age, almost everyone has an email, so that will dramatically cut down on postage costs. Less fun, but more practical.

My wonderful fiance went out of his way to encourage my renewed enthusiasm. He surprised me yesterday by taking me out to Bemidji for dinner and a surprise. The surprise turned out to be us attending the Bemdiji Bridal Expo. When I heard about the expo a couple months ago, I got really excited that I finally was able to go to something like that. But, the idea went out the window with everything that was going on, and I didn't think we had time, so I just kinda forgot about it. I honestly cried when we got there. I threw my arms around him and cried, I was so happy.

Granted, the Bemdiji Expo is small compared to expos in larger cities (there was only 30 vendors), but it still was a wonderful time! A word of advice: come hungry. That was our biggest regret was that we ate beforehand and didn't have room to try everything we wanted. GO HUNGRY!! Also: go to have a good time and learn a lot! Right away, at registration I was made to feel special (I got a 'Bride' sticker!) Congratulations came from everywhere, and at each vendor, I felt inspired. Nevermind the fact that I could never afford most of their services - it was just nice to sample items and see all the new trends. It was $10/person, and at first, I felt bad about spending that money, but it was totally worth it. Sadly, I did not win anything, but I still got so many samples and gifts, and information. I enjoyed the samples more, but the information I gathered was more useful. Leaving that day I had so much to think about.

Warning: it can be very overwhelming, so take your time, put everything away, and sign up for every give away you can find!

Now on to the Bridesmaids dresses. Well, obviously, I can't afford to buy the dresses for my girls. So, I felt bad about asking them to buy dresses that they would only wear once probably, and also something that they wouldn't like. I'm a people pleaser, and I like it most when people are pleased with me. So I decided that I would give them options and let them decide what dress style will work for them. As we are going for a very casual feel, I am requesting that the dresses be cocktail length or short (no full gowns!).

Now, we hit the hard part: color. I have the pet idea that every woman needs a little black dress; Its the fashionista in me. So, I figure, this is the perfect excuse for my girls to treat themselves to something every girl should have.

I love the simplicity of a black dress - and also, believe it or not, the versatility. You can add a dash of color so easily. The shoes, the flowers, hair pieces, belts, you name it. And better yet, with the black as a base, the color will pop and draw attention to it.

Now - another option: Purple and green. This is the traditional side of me. Also, because those are our two main colors. (We're not limiting ourselves with colors - really is just too constrictive for me, and makes it harder for me to design with secondhand and found items) The only difference is: they get to choose the look and the shade.

Not sure how this will play with the girls. Somehow I think this color scheme will be the least popular option because of the restrictions. I also worry about this because there are so many shades to choose from, and it is possible that they will clash together. This is the wildcard choice.

Last option, and a recent developement: Creams. I fell in love with this idea because of this picture:

I'm in love with this and I would love to see everyone in this scheme (sans cowboy boots). I guess mostly because of the beauty with the variety. It's a picture of innocence and simplicity. Everyone looks angelic. I'm not about drawing attention to myself, so I liked the idea of the girls being in similar shades as I am. As a designer, I also know that this look creates a cohesive statement. A color family. Literally. There is only one member of my bridal party that is not relation by blood or marriage, and she falls into the category of family through love, so I like this idea a lot. Keeping with the neautral shades also makes it easier for the girls to wear it again.

The morals of today's entry:

* Options are your friend, and having as little restrictions as possible makes planning a wedding with a HUGE budget restriction a lot easier.

*Have your friends and family help with the wedding: it makes it more personal. You will be pleasently surprised how talented these amateurs are, and most of the time, they will help out gladly (and freely, or at cost).

* Include your bridesmaids in the decision making when it comes to their dresses. Girls will be more gracious about buying their own dresses if they have a say in them. Bonus: you feel less bad about making them spend money for your big day

I'm Poor, but I Wanna Get Married! Getting started

So, this part of my blog will be dedicated to what it will take to have a wedding on a fairly non-existent budget. What do I mean, non-existent budget? Well, I'm glad you asked. All the bridal magazines I have ever read have said that the first thing you need to do is set a budget.
Trust me, I would love to set a budget ... but #1: I have no idea where to begin. I don't know how much it costs to get a hall for a reception, or an average cost of a photographer. I don't know what cheap options there are out there. I certainly know the expensive ones - all I have to do is go on to WeTV and watch a couple of their bridal shows and watch for five minutes to know what a lot of money can do. Just so we're clear, I am not knocking the likes of 'My Fair Wedding' or 'Platinum Brides' - I LOVE those shows! In fact. I wish they would make another one: 'How the Real World Weds' Now that would be a show I could learn a LOT from. And #2: I have no clue what I can put into this wedding. My savings is in the double digits, my fiance and I come from mid-to-low-income families, and we both have low-to-mid-income jobs. But what we do have is LOVE.

That's right, this is not going to be all doom and gloom about how I can't afford the wedding I want. This is NOT what these entries are going to be about. This is about how we can have the wedding of our streamlined dreams without running to the courthouse for a quickie and on with the rest of our lives. The Courthouse is an option for most people, and if that is how you want to do it, I say, go ahead. But Ahren, my fiance, and I feel it is very important to have our family and friends there for us on that day. I desperately want my Dad to walk me down the aisle, and I want to look out and see the most important people in our lives witnessing Ahren and I bond our lives together. So, we keep that in mind as our No. 1. At the end of that day, I don't care if people go home talking about the decor or the food. I want them to think about how much Ahren and I love each other. That's the goal.

So, we're going to cut a lot of corners, do a lot of things ourselves, and shave off a lot of fat, so to speak.

Here's what we have so far in regards to the wedding:
* We're going for simple, practical, chic
* lots of DIY, and eco-friendly (no so sure about this last one, but we're going to try)
* Colors: green and purple
* very country, crafty, antique, homemade

With this in mind, I will say this: Ahren and I know a lot of talented individuals. If I ask, I might be able to get some of them to help out with the wedding. I'm incredibly grateful for this. My only problem is that I have a hard time asking people for favors. I don't want to take advantage of them. But this is something I NEED to get over. Small struggle, comparatively.

Enough for now. We'll tackle more later. Until then I just have to keep my head somewhere between the clouds and the ground.

I'm Tired of Trying, and intro to: I'm Poor, but I Wanna Get Married!

Just a quick update on everything before I get to the title stuff:
Playhouse: Good; although audience attendance has been lower this summer. Thanks in part to MN government. Tourist rates are way down, ask any retailer, so down goes audience numbers too. But the shows have been great. Bumps along the way as always, but overall good. 'The Full Monty' is showing now, and we've got AMAZING reviews :D
Other: still find myself at the end of the summer season with next to no money and no place to live. I do still have a job at Luekens, thank God, and I do have a backup place to live (with Ahren) until we can find/afford something in Bemdiji. Still searching, but nothing yet :S Getting VERY worried.
Ahren: He's amazing. He had a bad bout with, not one, but three, illnesses and an enlarged spleen. Still recovering, but he has an appointment scheduled to see if he can return to his regular work soon. Fingers crossed.
On to the rest:

First thing, I don't want to whine, but I am so tired of trying SO HARD to be one of the cool kids. I know, I know, I shouldn't try to be anything I am not, and just embrace myself as I am. Well, that is true. I don't want to not be who I am, but I would like to be included now and then. Feel like one of the crowd, apart of the gang. Actually, no, I take that back. I am apart of the Gang; I'm just that kid that no one likes very much in the crowd. This isn't to say that I want to be the center of attention or anything. I certainly don't want that, I couldn't handle that. I don't have the chops or the personality for that. Maybe that's it. Maybe I have to have the overwhelming personality like so many of the people I see around me. Maybe; I don't know. Did I miss that day in school? Why am I such an idiot? WHY can't I be cool?!?! Maybe I am asking too much. I don't know. I would be completely downtrodden by this if it weren't for Ahren. He's my savior. I don't have to try so hard with him. Its natural. He feels the same way about me. Before we had each other, we felt so out of place in the world. You can have a lot of friends and a great family, but you can still be an outsider. That's me - and that was him. He says that with me, he finally feels like a somebody. I understand exactly how he feels. But now, he is more than a Somebody - he is my Everything. My best friend, my Soul Mate ...

You'll have to pardon me, I'm emotional. That time, you know ;I I go through this all the time. My hormones take me on a wild journey of emotions. Ahren takes it all in stride, thank God. It's really nice actually. Now I have someone to hold my hand when I hear a sad song on the radio and the tears flow. I have someone to join in when I'm on the up and up, and he lets my mind just go wherever it wants. He seems to enjoy some of it, actually. God, I love him!

Speaking of all things Ahren:

Wedding. We picked a date: Sept. 14, 2012!

We've got a little over a year before it happens, but to be honest, I have no idea how we are going to make this happen. I have to vent a little frustrations right now, if you don't mind. Skip on down if you don't want to hear about any of this. (Sorry folks, this is my therapy): So, we've got no money, no prospect of saving a lot, no chance of winning the lottery. We both come from mid to low income families, and we both have low to mid income jobs. I have a HUGE stack of bills and cranky creditors. But amid all of this, Ahren and I have found each other, and we want to get married. WHAT DO WE DO?!?! We could elope ... but no, that costs money. We could just go to the courthouse - but NO, having our family and friends there is INCREDIBLY important to us. So ... well, we're going for an actual wedding. Only problem is: we have to majorly skimp on EVERYTHING. We're realistic and practical, so we don't want anything extravagant, but the line between standard and extravagnat is now in question. The most important thing on that day is that we get married. Everything else is going to have to be extra. My only worry is that I will be shorting our guests.

So how are we going to do this? One day at a time ;) I might have a few venting sessions occassionally, but above everything else, I am just so glad that I found someone who wants to share the rest of their life with me! I am SO BLESSED! I may not be much, and I may not have much in this world, but someone loves me :D

Any subsequent blogs with the 'I'm Poor, but I Want to get Married' are going to be about me figuring out how to do things on a low, low, low budget. So low, that we can't even create a budget. Read the next part for more information!

Wedding!! We begin to plan ...

I'm not sure anyone will care to read this, but now I have something else to blog about: Weddings!

Confession: I LOVE weddings. Always have. When I was little, I would dream of weddings and when I got older, I would plan weddings. Yes, I love all those wedding tv shows. I love 'My Fair Wedding' and 'Platinum Weddings' - and yes, even occassionally I will watch 'Bridezillas' :( (By the way, you all have my permission to slap the tar out of me if I ever get that bad). So, I'm legit now! I can plan with no guilt!
Now I have the guy:

Ahren and Me at the 'Midsummer' opening party

Just in case you are wondering: we're not sure about a date yet. It will be at LEAST a year, if not more. We're going to be working on saving, so we can have the kind of wedding we want, and not just the cheapest thing we can do.

With that being said though, we're looking at an early fall wedding. Something after the wedding season rush, and before the snow falls in MN. But we're unsure about this. Our biggest concern is that we have as much of our families there as possible. It really is very important to have everyone there.

Essentially, we are thinking: simple, classic, practical. Of course, with a dash of beauty. Of course, anything can change at this point, so everything here is just tenative. We're more concentrating on a conceptual look rather than just colors, but we do have colors picked out: emerald and purple. Granted those colors don't exactly fit with a fall wedding, but since leave colors are so unpredictable and we're still unsure about when we can do the wedding, we didn't want to plan around that.

Wanna see the visual concept? Here:

This picture has all of my favorite elements in it. What do I love about this? MUCH! I love the simple flowers, homespun country look of it with a touch of antique. Its soft and sweet and simple. I like the use of burlap and lace. Rustic, but chic, country and antique. My favorite flowers are alyssum, and I love the mason jars. They're cheap and fairly easy to find, and they can be dressed up with a little ribbon, or beautiful enough on their own. They're perfect for vases or candle holders, as well as other things:

I kinda LOVE the antique pictures in the mason jars, I don't know why, but something about this really struck me. Probably because I love antiques, and especially vintage pictures.

I love this idea of holding cards. A lot of what I like for this wedding has a crafty feel. I guess more accurate would be "something old into something new" Vintage is popular, and I love it! Kinda has a "good ole days" feeling to it.

Like? Opinions, please. I do welcome them. Especially later on in the post :D

Good news! I have had my first wedding wish granted. I only have 2 "impossible" wedding wishes - for now ;) And one came true! Long story short, I have an ex-roommate from college who is my best friend - although it has been years since we have seen each other and she lives in NY, I still REALLY wanted her to be my Matron of Honor. Ahren told me to take a chance, so I did, and she called, and we talked, and she AGREED! I can not begin to tell you how excited I am about that!!! Ahren was pretty ecstatic about it too. He was so happy for me - although he has never met this girl at all. Although, I am sure he has heard enough about her by now. So - YAY! With this addition, we are almost done with our wedding party. We're sticking mostly with immediate family, and a couple very dear friends. We're definately going for a non-traditional view of flower girl and doubling up in order to include both sides of the family. The ring-bearers are still undecided. We have 4 options, and need to narrow it down to 2. Mostly I just don't want to leave anyone out, or make anyone mad (parents or kids). So, I will announce that when we've made some decisions.

Now on to:

The Dress!! Here are some of the pictures I have come across. I don't think there is a single one I am 100% in love with, but I love them all in their own ways. Really, what I am looking at is something simple. Nothing fancy - no intricate beading and rhinestones. No trains, or a very short one. I don't want my dress dragging on the ground, and sometimes busseling the train can be a big pain. Big thing: need straps of some kind. Obviously, I need the support. Plus, I don't look good with bare shoulders, or almost bare shoulders. Spaghetti straps look terrible on me. Thinking of going with the tea length look, which is gorgeously vintage, and perfect for an outdoor wedding with a lot of dancing afterwards. My only worry with that is: what if I don't feel like a bride when I wear that? What if it just seems like any other nice dress I have? I have always heard that is the biggest worry that brides have. I always thought that was silly, and logically, it is. But sometime after this whole thing became a reality, logic took a flying leap out the door.

Again, please let me know what you think!

The Hemp dress - It's simple, and a little sexy with the low back and deep v-neck. At this point, I'm not sure about that. I'm not the sexy type - but the simplicity of the dress kinda off-sets that, so this type is still in the running.

The Quilt Dress - Again, simple but beautiful. I think this one is cotton. I love the bottom of this dress. It gives a little something to the dress without it being too intricate.


The Tea Lace 3/4 dress - another thing I am thinking: I'm not all that thrilled with my arms, so sleeves are a possibility. I like the 3/4 sleeve look. This dress has a lot of gorgeous lace - perfect for the burlap & lace aspect.

The Epitome dress - I'm kinda in LOVE with this dress. Especially with the concept of the colored petticoat. Won't that be awesome when I swirl on the dancefloor? It's got a gorgeous vintage look to it, tea length, lace, a dash of color. I've even seen a version of this with sleeves. One of my very favorites!

the simple with sash David's Bridal dress - this is my practical dress. Based on budget, this is one of my best options. Simple, with a dash of color and cheap. Problem: no straps or sleeves. Other problem: it just doesn't excite me. But that doesn't mean that this won't be it.

the Overly Elegant dress - Too much train, but it's so pretty! Again simple with only a floral bow and sash for decoration. It says elegant to me, but it also seems like it wouldn't quite fit with the rest of the wedding. Although, I will say this: goes wonders for the curves!

The Oddball dress - this dress took me by surprise. Okay, it's simple and there are straps, but I didn't think I would like something like this as much. I was not into the gathers with most dresses. It's too much of a fad, and most of the time, its just too much, and usually the gathers have rhinestone (again, something I didn't want) But this one didn't. Really, I don't know why I like this - and I guess I don't because: I LOVE it!

Well, I better quit for now. Look for updates and pictures as Ahren and I make some decisions. We'll also be looking for some imput too - so feel free to comment and let me know what you think about all of this. Suggestions are also welcome.

There is one more thing I should mention Ahren and I are thinking (we're not sure if this is appropriate or not) of asking certain family and friends to donate time and talents in lieu of gifts. Since we know that we're going to have to DIY for a lot of this wedding, we're seeing if anyone would be willing to pitch in. Like what? you ask. Like baking, photography, music, craft stuff (designing save-the-dates or putting together programs or favors) things like that. Do you think that is a terrible idea?

Okay - really, I am going to stop now.

'Til next time, then!